


Find you are gone

by spixinblue



Series: V (1983) [2]
Category: V (1983)
Genre: Character Study, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spixinblue/pseuds/spixinblue
Summary: We shouldn't never asssume we have enough time.





	Find you are gone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mithen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mithen/gifts).



> I don't speak English. This was betaed years ago by Mithen when LJ was still a cool place to be. All remaining mistakes are mine alone and I promise to look at the proper way to credit her when I find the time to learn how this site really works.

I have been dreaming about him again.

In my dreams we have all the time in the world, there`s not a battle to fight, there`s not a  
meeting to guide, there`re not men and women asking anything from us. We`re together  
and I watch him while he sleeps besides me. Moonlight is making his hair shine and it`s  
beautiful. Sunlight makes it more beautiful. I never told him that. For some stupid reason I  
never told him lots of things. I needed him for more than the war. I wanted him more than  
his help. I liked him more than his alliance. I loved him more than a friend.

Every time I wake up I find he`s gone and I`m alone and still I never said anything truly  
important to him. I can`t sleep again after I have waken up, even if I should be up 5, 6 or  
more hours after. Some nights I don`t sleep at all because I can`t stand the dreams.  
They`re not real after all. I never watched him sleeping because we never slept together.  
Tonight is one of those.

He`s gone and I feel truly alone. I have been trying to leave the night behind for a while  
now. War is still going but his people still stand with us, we still need help but we have more  
hope now with this so called star child of mixed blood. She`s a nice girl, she was an odd  
child but sweet. She grew up too fast for my peace of mind but her "powers" or "gifts", or  
whatever they are calling them now, are on the edge of the divine. I don`t know. It`s scary  
if you think too much about them, about her. But, she`s still a nice girl and she really wants  
peace between her two heritages. He would be so pleased with her loyalty to her two  
bloods.

I do know he was loyal to his people but he wasn`t blinded for it. I do know he wasn`t blind  
to our weak points either but he didn`t use that to justify a genocide. I do know he was  
scared, worried, and he felt guilty. We felt like traitors most of the time and we could talk  
about that just with each other because we were leaders and a leader doesn't have doubts  
ever. I should have told him how much I valued our time together talking about our fears.  
But I couldn`t acknowledge it. I suppose he also couldn`t do it.

I should have known our time would be short.


End file.
